Spying on Sasuke
by SecretFanGirl.ox
Summary: Naruto and Sakura think Sasuke is up to something, so they decide to spy on them, but how much will they learn? Rated M for adult themes. Bad summery.


**Spying on Sasuke**

Naruto: Right we agree Teme is up to something, correct?

Sakura: Yes, but I don't see why we have to sit in a bush and spy on him

Suigetsu: Surely he can sense you chakra?  
Naruto: You're giving us away, get down here! ***Pulls Suigetsu into the bush***

Suigetsu: Hey! We're enemies here!

Sakura: Aren't you curious of what Sasuke is up to?

Suigetsu: I suppose... okay, I call a temporary truce, until we find out what Sasuke is doing, deal?

Naruto: Deal

Sakura: You're going to need to hide your chakra, or he will find us

Sai: Ugly, Dickless... fish... man? Why are you in a bush hiding from Sasuke?

Naruto: SHUT UP SAI!

Sai: I only asked you a question Dickless

Naruto: If you must know we are spying on Sasuke

Sai: Oh, because he seems to have gone

Naruto: ***peeking up from behind the bush*** Damn he's right!

Sakura: He's over there by Ino's shop!

Naruto: Is there a bush over there?

Sakura: why must it be a bush?

Sai: Oh, I read something like this; it's called a... fetish! Yes, that's it; Dickless has got a bush fetish!

Naruto: I have not!

Sai: You don't?

Naruto: Why would I have a fetish for a bush?!

Sai: Because you have no dick, so you stick branches up your arse

Naruto: I will kill you

Sakura: I thought we were meant to be spying on Sasuke, not discussing Naruto's fetish for bushes!

Naruto: I don't have a bush fetish!

Sakura: Sure, anyway, there is a bush right outside Ino's shop if we sneak over there Sasuke won't see us!

**Naruto, Sakura, Suigetsu and Sai sneaked over to the other bush**

Sai: Keep Dickless away from the branches

Naruto: Keep Sai away from me

Sai: Oh, do you want to have intercourse with me now? Look Dickless, just because you don't have a dick doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

Naruto: SA- ***Sakura's hand clamped around his mouth***

Suigetsu: Shhh! Do you want to give us away?!

Sakura: Why is Sasuke buying whipped cream?

Sai: I have also read about this, I think they call it... Kinky- ***Sakura clamps her hand over his mouth***

Sakura: Please don't damage my brain with images of Sasuke and Kinky whipped cream... ***Shudders in disgust***

Sai: I thought you liked Uchiha Ugly?  
Sakura: Before he betrayed us.

Naruto: He's on the move again!

Sakura: ***Notices something sticking out of the back of Naruto's pants* **Uh, Naruto... Why do you have sticks down your pants?  
Sai: Told you

Naruto: I have no idea how they got there! I swear!

Ino: Why are you hiding behind a bush, infront of my shop?

Sakura: We're spying on Sasuke!

Ino: Why may I ask?

Naruto: He's up to something, he just brought whipped cream!

Ino: I know, he brought it from me

Suigetsu: Any idea why he brought it?

Ino: He didn't say, sorry

Sai: You're useless, if you must stay get down because Uchiha is coming this way!

Sakura: ***Pulls Ino into the bush* **Shhhhh!

Ino: ***Whispers* ** What is he doing now?

Naruto: He seems to be staring at some kind of picture...

Suigetsu: Picture of what?

Sai: Whipped cream? Picture? Sasuke is one kinky mother fucker

Karin: Don't say that about my Sasuke!

Suigetsu: Karin! ***Pulls her into the bush, with hand clamped around her mouth***

**Sasuke looked in the direction of the bush, but shrugged the noise off as an animal or just a crazed fan girl and proceeded to stare at his mysterious picture.**

Suigetsu: You almost blew our cover Karin!

Karin: Why are you stalking my Sasuke anyway?!

Inside Suigetsu's head: If I tell her the real reason, she'll go and tell him, gotta think of a good answer... I know!

Suigetsu: Were spying on Sasuke to see whether he loves you or not!

Karin: Really?!

Suigetsu: Y-yes!

Sakura: No we- ***Suigetsu throws his hand over sakura's mouth***

Suigetsu: Haha, oh Sakura you're so funny!

Inner Sakura: What is he doing?! We aren't spying on him to see if he loves her?! Wait, Karin is a crazed fan girl, so if we did tell her what was really going on she'd blab to Sasuke, ahhh... I see.

Suigetsu: ***Unclamps his hand from Sakura's mouth***

Sakura: Oh yes, obviously that's what we are doing, why else would we be stalking Sasuke?

Karin: Hmm, that is true, okay I will help you!

Sakura and Naruto: Great...***Sarcasm***

Ino: Shh! He's coming this way!

Naruto: Sakura I think that picture, is of you!

Karin: Of course it's not! MY Sasuke-kun wouldn't carry a picture around of anyone but me!

Naruto: Oh yes, my mistake, it is you.

Naruto: ***Whisper to Sakura* **It's defiantly you!

Sai: Why would Uchiha be carrying a picture of Ugly around?

Karin: Hey! Who you calling Ugly?!

Sai: Sak-

Naruto: ***Clamps hand over Sai's mouth* **Now, now Sai, it isn't nice to call people ugly!

Suigetsu: What's he doing now?

Ino: It would seem that he is buying some flowers? Oh wait, that's my shop! ***Run's from bush, to shop***

Karin: Aww my Sasuke-kun is buying me flowers! How sweet!

Suigetsu: Yes, for you, obviously! ***Sarcasm***

Sakura: why would Sasuke be buying flowers?

Naruto: Who knows?

Karin: I do! They're for me! Oh Sasuke-kuuun! ***Skips out of the bush toward Sasuke***

Suigetsu: Karin NO!

Sai: Uglier seems to have blown our cover.

Naruto: We don't know that yet, if we move we will blow it even more.

Sai: You'd know about blowing things Naruto.

Naruto: I'm not Gay Sai!

Sai: Oh yes I'm sorry I forgot, you just have a fetish for tree's.

Naruto: I do not have a fetish for tree's!

Sai: What's with all the twigs in your pocket then Dickless?

Naruto: ...They're for a fire later, encase it gets cold!

Sai: Sure they are.

Sakura: Will you two shut up? What is Karin doing?

Karin: ***Skips up to Sasuke and says something to him***

Sasuke: ***Shake's his head at her***

Naruto: Oh shit.

Karin: ***Starts shouting at Sasuke***

Sasuke: ***Frowns and says something to her***

Karin: ***Points in direction of the bush***

Sasuke: ***looks toward the bush, in anger***

Suigetsu: Shit, he's gonna kill us!

Sasuke: ***Starts walking toward bush***

Sai: What are we gonna do?

Sasuke: ***Getting closer to the bush***

Naruto: Well you aint throwing none of my sticks at him! GET YOUR OWN!

Sasuke: ***Getting closer still to the bush***

Sakura: Nobody wants your sticks Naruto!

Sai: No but Sasuke wants you!

Sakura: What?

Sasuke: ***Closing in on the bush***

Suigetsu: Great idea Sai! ***Push's Sakura out of the bush***

Sakura: ***Crashes into Sasuke*** Ahh!

Sasuke: Hn ***Catches her***

Sakura: Erm, hey Sasuke...

Sasuke: Sakura, why were you spying on me in a bush?

Sakura: I wasn't spying on you

Sasuke: Then why were you in a bush?

Sakura: Can a girl not sit in a bush without being questioned about it?

Sasuke: Not really.

Sakura: Well, then I have nothing else to say to you, good day Uchiha.

Others: ***Still watching from the bush, Ino has now joined them and Karin has walked off somewhere in a strop***

Sasuke: ***Suddenly pins Sakura to a tree* **My name is not Uchiha, Sakura.

Sakura: Let go of me.

Sasuke: ***Smirks at her*** No.

Sakura: Yes.

Sasuke: Make me.

Sakura Thoughts: _What can I do? God he's so hot, so hot I feel like he's melting me! I must get away before I melt!_

Sakura: Get off me Uchiha; I have nothing more to say to you.

Sasuke: Why should I? ***Buries his head in the crook of her neck***

Sakura Thoughts: _Oh no, this can't be happening, not infront of them! But if I reveal them, he'll chidori them to the high heavens! Oh Kami-sama..._

Sakura: Because I told you to, I don't like you anymore Sasuke, so get over yourself.

Sasuke: I like em' feisty ***Smirks***

Sakura: Back off Uchiha, I won't tell you again.

Sasuke: No, you won't. ***Kisses her***

Naruto: Oh god, that is sick, how can he kiss her?!

Sai: In comparison to what you do with your sticks, this is beautiful.

Naruto: Leave me and my sticks out of this.

Sai: So you admit you're intimate with a stick?

Naruto: No!

Suigetsu: Shut up, he's making a move!

Ino: She knows we're here, how could she do this infront of us?!

Naruto: Because she knows Sasuke will kill us if he knows were here.

Ino: Fuck, your right.

Sasuke: ***Runs his hand up her thigh***

Sai: I have been meaning to study intercourse for a while now.

Naruto: I don't care if I die; I am not watching my two best friends have sex!

Sai: But you will have sex with a sick?

Naruto: Ye- NO!

Sasuke: ***Bulge in his trousers***

Naruto: He's got a boner, oh god, he's got a boner; please someone stop this!

Suigetsu: Sasuke my man! Tonight you lose your virginity! And I get to watch!

Ino: Sasuke's a virgin?! ***Laughs***

Suigetsu: Yep!

Sasuke: ***Starts undressing Sakura***

Naruto: I can't take much more of this...

Sai: Don't look then Dickless!

Naruto: It's hard not to!

Suigetsu: Oh yeah baby, just a bit more, take her bra off, ohh yeah.

Ino: Pervert!

Sasuke: ***Undoing his trousers***

Naruto: Oh god, I can see his cock, oh god.

Sai: Just imagine it's a stick, oh no wait don't do that, you may just get a boner.

Suigetsu: My god... Its... HUGE!

Echo: HUGE... HUGE... huge... Huge..._huge... huge_

Sasuke: ***Sharingan activated, looking angrily toward bush***

Suigetsu: Oh shit... ABANDON BUSH!

Others: ***Scatter***

Naruto: ***Drops his sticks* **My Sticks!

Sasuke: CHIDORI! ***Blasts Naruto***

**...**

**...**

**...**

Sai: You really are Dickless now.


End file.
